God Moment

This was originally written for our church newsletter after my 2008 mission. We have a section called "God Moments" where people share personal experiences where they felt God's presence. This is one of many that I had while in Honduras:

God moments. I have had many over the years, especially when I’ve been on missions. They have left me feeling a number of different ways and have helped me grow in my faith and understanding of God. They also remind me of how much I still have to learn, and how God is full of surprises. This was the exact message I received one day in Honduras last year. We were in El Quebrachal, working with old friends from the village, when it was brought to our attention that there was a young woman who was dying of throat cancer. As I was listening to one of the villagers I felt a deep urge to ask to go to the woman’s home. I have become a strong believer in prayer, and I thought that by going to pray with her in her home we would be able to give her some peace. I knew that she didn’t have access to any medical care or medicine for that matter. I knew that I should expect to see someone who was very thin and fragile, someone who would only be able to look back at me when I spoke to her. After listening to the villager tell me about her, I told other members of my team. There were several others who wanted to go to pray with her in her home, so we arranged to do so the following day.

When we arrived at her house the following day, I saw the person I had imagined, only something was different. We were there to give her peace, or so we thought, but she was so peaceful already. I didn’t see the fear or anguish that I expected to see in her eyes, but a calmness that could only have come from the Holy Spirit being present in her. The religious figure from the village, Antonio, had entered the house with us. The words that he spoke will stay with me forever. I had always wondered why some people died a long and drawn out death. I couldn’t find any reason in prolonged pain. However, Antonio began by telling us that God does not punish us or test us, but that instead he prepares us for heaven. Whereas many people would view what was happening to this twenty seven year old woman as undeserving pain, he did not see it that way. He said that God does this to bring us closer to him and create a stronger relationship with him before we die.

Until that day, I’d never thought of terminal illness in that way. I had watched people in my family die from terminal illnesses, and had always wondered what it would feel like to be in that position and if they were angry for having to suffer. However, after going to visit the woman in El Quebrachal, I gained a new understanding. Maybe the last months of a terminal illness aren’t at all like I had imagined them to be. Maybe it was like Antonio said, a peaceful time because you become very close to God, and are able to focus solely on him. Then I began to think of other times in life where God makes it hard for us. The reality is not that we are paying for something that we’ve done, but that he putting us in a position where we have to lean on him for help. So now, I try to be patient and search for the understanding when things are difficult, because I know that he is calling me back to Him. I also know that given the way of life in Honduras, many of the villagers have already known what I’ve just discovered. I always learn something from them, every time I visit, and I thank God for the opportunity to be in that place so that I may learn more about Him through the people there.